Conversations Are the Currency: Stack Them Like Listings
The summer haze is gone, and reality has set back in. Open houses aren’t packed with nosy neighbors anymore, your inbox is full of “we’re going to wait until spring” emails, and half the agents you know are secretly wondering if they should update their résumé for a “real job.”
But let me be blunt: you can’t control inventory. You can’t manufacture listings out of thin air. You can’t force homeowners to sell. But what you can control is the number of conversations you’re willing to have.
Because conversations are your inventory.
No conversations = no clients.
It’s that simple.
And yet - we make this so complicated.
Why Conversations Feel So Damn Scary
Here’s the truth most agents don’t admit: the reason you hesitate before making calls isn’t because you’re lazy, disorganized, or “just not a phone person.” It’s because your nervous system is screaming at you.
When you hover over that dial button, your brain’s amygdala fires off a little alarm. It perceives the possibility of rejection as danger. Thousands of years ago, rejection from your tribe could mean exile from the fire circle, and back then, exile often meant death.
So yes, your sweaty palms and armpits, racing heart, and knot in the stomach? That’s cortisol and adrenaline. Not weakness. Not lack of motivation. Just biology doing exactly what it was designed to do.
The problem is, biology hasn’t gotten the memo that you’re not about to be chased by a saber-tooth tiger. You’re just trying to ask Bob from down the street if he will considering listing with you.
This is where the real estate agent mindset matters. The ones who build long-term careers aren’t the ones who never feel fear. They’re the ones who learn to prime, activate, and reset their nervous systems so fear doesn’t call the shots.
The Fear Set Point
We all have what I call a fear set point, a baseline level at which our nervous system flips from “I’m fine” to “Oh hell no.”
For some, the fear set point is low. Even the idea of dialing one number sends them into panic mode. For others, the set point is higher. They’ve learned, often through experience, that they can handle discomfort.
Here’s the kicker: your set point isn’t fixed. You can raise it. That’s the secret to building self-confidence in real estate and overcoming self-doubt as a real estate agent.
How to Raise the Threshold
I stumbled into this lesson myself. The best time for me to crank out a batch of calls isn’t after a nap, a meditation, or even my third cup of coffee. It’s right after I’ve done something that scared the heck out of me.
For example:
After delivering a speech in front of a crowd.
After hitting “publish” on a video I recorded in one take with no editing.
After tackling a conversation I’ve been avoiding.
Once I’ve done something scarier, the phone no longer looks like a monster. It looks like a toy.
That’s the secret: if you want calls to feel lighter, do something heavier first.
The Neuroscience Behind It (Including Norepinephrine)
This isn’t just motivational fluff. It’s neuroscience.
Every time you voluntarily face discomfort, your amygdala recalibrates. It learns: “That didn’t kill me.” Over time, this repeated exposure raises your threshold.
And here’s where norepinephrine comes in.
When you step into something scary, public speaking, video recording, or walking into an FSBO’s open house, your brain floods with norepinephrine.
Norepinephrine is the chemical that sharpens focus, primes your body for action, and makes you feel alert and alive.
It’s the brain’s way of saying: “Pay attention, this matters.”
If you ride that wave and channel it into your calls, you transform the fear into fuel. You’ve essentially activated your nervous system for courage.
That’s how you build mental resilience in real estate. It’s not about erasing fear. It’s about priming your system so fear doesn’t own you.
Why Costco Naked Beats Cold Calling
Now, you don’t have to actually go streaking through the frozen food aisle at Costco to build your resilience (although if you do, please don’t tell them you got the idea from me). But the principle stands: do something scarier than your phone calls, and your calls feel easier.
Here are a few cheeky examples:
Karaoke Night: Grab a mic and butcher Livin’ on a Prayer. If you can survive that high note, you can survive calling a FSBO.
Cold Plunge: Jump into a freezing lake before coffee. If your body can handle that shock, a “no thanks” on the phone is child’s play.
Ask Your Teenager for Fashion Advice: Nothing spikes cortisol faster than, “Mom, skinny jeans are dead.” If you can live through that humiliation, you can handle cold calling.
Public Speaking: Volunteer for a 3-minute pep talk at your office meeting. Once you’ve looked colleagues in the eye, calls will feel like small talk.
Door Knock Without a Script: Walk into a neighborhood with nothing but your smile. If you can face that awkwardness, you’ll be fine on the phone.
Practical Application for Agents
Okay, let’s ground this in daily practice. Here’s how you can apply it now:
Prime Your System With a Scary Action.
Choose something that spikes norepinephrine and proves to your brain you can survive discomfort. Record a video. Start a conversation in line at Starbucks. Attempt karaoke.Stack Your Calls Immediately After.
While your nervous system is still activated, dive into conversations. Ride the chemical momentum.Notice the Shift.
Calls feel lighter, because your fear set point has been raised. You’ve activated resilience.Repeat Until It’s Normal.
This is how you hardwire a growth mindset in real estate. Every repetition raises the baseline. Every call builds confidence.
How This Ties to Confidence and Success
This is exactly what people mean when they talk about positive thinking for real estate success, but it’s not fluffy affirmations. It’s science.
When you prime your nervous system and push through scary actions, you:
Overcome fear of rejection in real estate.
Develop stronger negotiation skills in real estate (because objections don’t rattle you).
Build the resilience needed for real estate listing presentation skills.
Lay the foundation for building a strong client base in real estate.
This is the heart of real estate sales coaching for confidence and the focus of every solid real estate training for confidence program: shifting your nervous system from fear into flow.
Why This Matters in September
Here’s why this timing is perfect. September is when the rubber meets the road.
The market is competitive. Inventory is tight. Every agent is scrambling to figure out where their next deal is coming from. But if you spend your time obsessing about inventory you can’t control, you’ll miss the one thing you can control: the number of conversations you create.
And if fear is holding you back from creating them? You now have a way to prime your body, activate your confidence, and raise your fear threshold.
Fear Won’t Shrink …But You Can Outgrow It
Fear doesn’t magically disappear. You don’t wake up one day with zero anxiety about rejection. But you can outgrow it by stepping into scarier situations and proving to your brain that you’re safe.
Every scary thing you face today makes tomorrow’s conversations easier. Every conversation you have adds to your only true inventory: clients, deals, and the career you’re building.
This is how you set and achieve goals in real estate.
This is how you unlock strategies for success in real estate.
This is, ultimately, how to be a successful real estate agent.
So stop waiting for inventory. Stop waiting to “feel ready.”
Do the scary thing. Then pick up the phone.
Because conversations aren’t just part of this business. They are the business.
👉 So, if fear of rejection, self-doubt, or impostor syndrome has been riding shotgun in your business, it’s time to shove it to the backseat where it belongs.
On September 15th, 6:00–8:30 PM EST, I’m hosting the Back-to-Work Workshop — designed for agents at every stage of the game. Whether you’re:
brand-new and terrified of making that first call,
“newish” and stuck in the cycle of inconsistency,
or seasoned but hitting a confidence plateau
This workshop is where we reset, rebuild, and raise your fear threshold.
Here’s what we’ll cover together:
Why scripts and hustle aren’t enough (and what actually gets you moving).
How to overcome fear of rejection in real estate using your brain biology, not just grit.
Practical, nervous-system-safe exercises to prime your confidence, activate resilience, and keep you consistent.
If you’ve ever thought, “I know what to do, I just can’t seem to do it,” this is exactly where you need to be.
And if you’re one of my United Real Estate agents, check your inbox for your appointment link. You’re more than welcome to pull up a chair in this workshop too.
